It's either a delusion or paranoia which are problems some people have. Talk to your doctor for advice. I have had my person who has PD, argue with me for days thinking that I lied to him. So much better now that anti-depression meds are part of his meds
I talked to a professional who works almost entirely with a Parkinson's population. She says that a delusion is a firmly held, mistaken belief in something which doesn't change despite proof to the contrary; they are something which cannot be helped, along with hallucinations. They have to do with how the brain is being damaged, and where the damage is taking place. She believes I am having delusions which especially affect me when I'm tired, and more so when the days begin to wane. That answers my question. Hallucinations are also more likely, or worse, as the day begins to wane, especially when there are more shadows (so it can help to turn on lights). Hallucinations are more common, usually involving seeing things which aren't there, but can also involve things which seems to be crawling on them, taste, smell, touch; the 5 senses. Seeing things which aren't there is the most common but these symptoms of hallucinations and delusions are only treated when they bother the patient; no need for treatment if a person doesn't care. All should be reported to the doctor, especially if they get worse. I have known I have an hallucination at nighttime but I now also know I have some delusional thinking, as well. Thanks for the opinions everyone.
Those who love us sometimes want to protect us from the harsh realities of our existence. But once the seed of distrust is planted by a white lie or partial truth, it is hard to trust what they tell us after that. I was surprised when I answered a question from a caregiver who was a new member of MPT about what are the stages of PD. I knew MPT has them listed, but could not find them at the time. (Just now I see them on the blue ribbon at the bottom of this screen.) So to answer her question I looked them up on the internet and found that I have all the symptoms of Stage 5, the final stage of PD. And all this time I have been thinking that I just have a little mild Parkinson’s! The interesting thing about those descriptions of the stages was that by this time I should be helplessly drooling insensibly in a wheelchair in a nursing home, incapable of doing all the things I easily do on a daily basis! So no wonder our caregivers sometimes want to shelter us from the harsh truths of reality! And yet we are still “in there”, understanding much more than we can let them know. Remember that PD isn't fatal, but the accompanying Alzheimer's/dementia is what kills us. That is why I am so fanatical about ginkgo because it gets rid of the Alzheimer's/dementia. Decades ago I read the complete works of James Michener. His last book, Recessional, is about a nursing home in Florida. One of the characters has Alzheimer's/dementia and she is constantly distrusting her husband and not believing what he tells her. He, on the other hand, visits her faithfully every day and is nothing but loving and kind to her. (Well, he Does tell her a few white lies and partial truths.) Michener’s point was to illustrate the mental delusions of Alzheimer's/dementia. So I guess my answer is yes, it qualifies as a delusion, but like most of our delusions, it is based on reality. Here I am at 5am – I have been sleepless since 2:28. Most, if not all of my delusions happen when I am partially asleep – either just dozing off, or struggling to awaken. Yes, lack of sleep makes us more vulnerable to being more emotional & less able to think things through. It Is difficult to put it all in order. I feel like my life is worthless. Yet I enjoy being alive, and it would be so ungrateful to our loving Creator who gave us this life on earth if I failed to enjoy and be thankful for each wonderful moment of it!
When I was the caregiver for my mother as she struggled with PD she would have these issues. The neurologist called it the sundown effect. Usually, with PD patients after it get later in the day, as the sun goes down and shadows appear and the person is more fatigued, hallucinations occur and they become confused and their responses at times don't make any sense and have no recollection the next day. Now that I have PD I am starting to notice that after supper is when I seem to have the most issues such as hallucinations. I now feel like their are bugs crawling on me and I keep trying to brush them off. I get panicked when I see shadows. I always think there is someone there hiding.
For the most part I think it's an overreaction on our part about how they are reacting to our Parkinson's. Why do they seem so uncomfortable, are they being patronizing, they aren't as concerned about me as I thought they would be, things have changed, family get togethers aren't fun anymore, why don't they check on me more, why do they treat me like a child and check on me too much....etc. Sure, we all have friends and family who will never get comfortable with our disease but I think it's our own, internal process of adjustment that creates most of the tension and disappointment. I'm working hard on being more comfortable with myself and also not overreacting to those I care about who don't handle it well.
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