My mom who has Parkinson's seems uninterested in anything that might help her condition. She does go to Physical Therapy twice a week, but besides that she just sleeps and watches TV. She lives with me, but she doesn't do anything to help out around the house, doesn't do her own laundry, doesn't cook, and does the bare minimum to keep her room tidy. I find it so depressing to see her just laying in her bed, and when I try to talk to her, she is rude and grumpy. It makes me depressed and… read more
Answer Summary
Members responded with deep empathy to a caregiver asking how to motivate her mom with Parkinson's, with many pointing out that apathy,... Read more
I’m sorry you and your mom are going through this. What looks like giving up can sometimes be apathy, depression, overwhelming fatigue, medication problems, or the progression of Parkinson’s. It may not be something she can simply push herself out of.
It might be worth letting her doctor know exactly what you are seeing, especially the sleeping, loss of interest, and change in mood. There may be something the doctor can evaluate or help with.
Please remember that your needs matter too. You have a job and a family, and you cannot carry all of this by yourself. Try to be patient with your mom but also be patient with yourself. This is difficult for both of you.
Hi Brooke.
You said she doesn't want to do anything...and then you listed cooking, cleaning and tidying.
Now I feel listless, apathetic and uninterested too!
How does she feel about a movie? A show? An Opera? A Concert? I know a lot of American towns are isolated meaning you have a nightmare of travel to organise...but surely there's something FUN to do nearby.
And I know it means all the work falls on you. I also know she'd swap places with you in a heartbeat.
Oh ..the sleeping thing is a definite symptom by the way, not just laziness. I get overcome with tiredness at least once a day, to the point where it would be DANGEROUS to attempt many household tasks (it already severely limits my driving, but fortunately I do still get enough notice of these "blitzkrieg snooze attacks" that I can stop what I'm doing safely, and take to my bed for as long as it takes to pass (anything from ten minutes to four hours).
Brooke: This thing I'm pecking at has been a lifesaver for me. Perhaps a laptop and direction can arouse her interest in many different things that could enrich her life. I constantly wonder why the patient instead of the caregiver isn't communicating via MPT. I know it's difficult due to tremors, but with spell check, etc. it is not impossible. Once familiar with the keyboard I also suggest writing a memoir. Just for the record, I'm closing in on stage five PD and as far as I can determine am the oldest MPT member.
@A MyParkinsonsTeam Member, Agreeing with everything above, I would emphasize the electronic games on a computer, laptop, tablet or phone. Some of my favorites are Scrabble Go, Toy Blast or a vast array of block and marble sorting games. My great grandfather had Parkinson's when I was a child. If you have children, it would do both of them a world of good for them to play board games with Grandma. My grandpa had once been a true checkers champion. I have never regretted a minute of the many hours of time I spent playing checkers with my Grandpa Harry. He didn't finish them all, but he never once lost. Not only did it give his caretaker which was his wife and my Grandma Amy a break, but I learned an invaluable lesson of patience and compassion that I could never have learned in any other setting.
Music is also a great mood changer. Right now, I'm listening to Spotify. I have over 3,600 songs on my "Liked List!" There is every genre imaginable. It's free with ads. For around $15 per month, I can't remember exactly, there are many classic audio books and more stuff than I can listen.
I hope you don't mind if I share a new song that I just discovered while I was typing this.
https://open.spotify.com/track/5Z9Ar762QkXBSe6J...
I agree with Bob`s comments. Definitely let her doctor know. And take care of Yourself!