@A MyParkinsonsTeam Member. If and when I get to a point in life where I am useless, of course, I want help with being "made comfortable". Call it what you will...it is loving and compassionate and those involved know that there is nothing left to do. I have directives and a DNR. I pray for dignity. I'm not afraid of dying...but I am afraid of living after my "shelf life" expires. I feel pretty much as you do Peggy. My husband's parents both lived to be 92 and still in relative good, health. No incontinence, able to get up and down and walk. Mommy had Alzheimer's, but I see that as a gift of Mercy from God. Things don't hurt as much if you don't remember. She was still here yet gone. Unfortunately she died first so Poppy had a sharp mind and memory and he felt the loss deeply. He died shortly after Mommy. But right up to the end they danced, laughed, traveled and went out to dinner a couple of times a week.

They still went to church too, and took communion. One day in church, we walked up to receive the "host". Mommy was in front of me. She took it in her hand and we walked out. We get outside to the car to go home and she holds up the host she received and asked: "What do I do with this?" What a laugh we all had. She laughed along with us. She was a hoot. So unless I can be like her, I don't plan on sticking around another 20 years.

Love your way of thinking Peggy. Love you. Sterling

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A MyParki...

on this one I am with the first two women.
Hugs

BTW, thinking about a pain free future is not exactly "rolling over", do you think?

PDers should not dwell on death. Death will take care of itself and you when It's time. Take it one day at a time, look for positives, exercise as much as you can. You may live longer than you think.

I'm not sure if I'm giving an answer to your question or not. But I think I am. I have a much larger view and more thoughts of death than I did pre--- breast cancer, melanoma, and Parkinson. And I know this has increased since I lost my husband in 2014. I am also pleased to be able to say that I do NOT have the fear of death that I had before! I think about how and when I might die. In other words, is it going to be a peaceful, relatively pain free time for me? I doubt it will be pain free because I already have a lot of pain, thanks to PD. My curling toes hurt almost all the time during the last year, my back and hips hurt more often and a lot of other aches and pains pop up to make more misery. My thoughts of death are not morbid as I think they were. Now I look at death as a release mechanism that will free me to "hopefully" go to heaven to be with God, my husband and others who have left already. I think of it as a reunion of a different kind --- no food brought by each family, no pictures to share, and no fun and games. It will just be joyful as well as peaceful. I tell family and friends that PD is not going to kill me; it is just going to cause every thing else in and on my body to do it.
I hope that is what you were wondering. Peace and hugs for you. Doris

@A MyParkinsonsTeam Member

Pain since 16!!! Man. Don't mean to pry (but I am prying), were your surgeries for PD? Spinal surgery? Sounds like bad back. JV has a low back pain that kills, almost made her lose interest in tennis. She has severe scoliosis. No MD has found a cure for her back. Now with PD her stiffness worsens her back pain. She takes Clonazapam at night to help her relax and sleep. On this drug she sleeps better than I do.

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A MyParki...