Good point Phil. Although I would like someone or something to blame and be angry with for the challenges that come with PD, I can't. I am mostly angry because PD limits my choices due to the physical, mental and emotional challenges and the feeling of loss of control over my mind and body. I also want to be angry because I didn't smoke or drink or abuse my body in anyway and yet, without the gene, I have PD. I hit the wall and lost hope due to this type of thinking but I fell back on my faith and realized PD is not a punishment but can be a purpose. And, I fell back on science only to realize PD seems impossible since there is no cure but in actuality, I have a lot of choices. I can remain hopeful and do things that benefit the individual symptoms like weighted blankets, button hollers, pen adapters, and making the most of my meds by timing my meals and my meds, etc. I can exercise. I can meditate. I can find ways to interact socially without the ability to drive while living in a rural area. I have not lost control. I placed my anger on God's shoulders and lost hope. God didn't do this and neither did I. It is just part of my journey and now I really have the ability to see what I am truly made of and shine by learning, sharing, showing compassion for others and asking for help for the first time in my life. PD has helped me put aside my ego and be creative for myself and aware of others- purpose! Thank you God and this PD community!

I You can't blame parkinson's for bad things happening to you'lin life.I?
You have to be responsible to yourself for the things you do right or wrotng. YOU MAKE THE EXCEPTIONS

Thank you Lucas, in hindsight I didn't word the question very well and perhaps should never have posted it. As I elude to in my story the incident has had such a catastrophic and truly devastating and as far as I can see lasting effect on us as a family, I can't talk about it publicly. All I can say is that despite being told by the Parkinson's consultant had I not been taking the Parkinson's meds the incident would not have occurred, I decided to own responsibility for my actions. I guess it weighs heavy on me and always will. Thank you for your input.

Thanks Maria, that's very kind and considerate of you. I'm fine - really. I had no idea feelings ran so deep. Thank you for your kind heart.

Phil. 😃😃

Hi Phil10, I'm so sorry I missed your point and please don't regret sharing. I certainly never intend to minimize anyone's emotions or experience or embarrass anyone. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings or added to the negative impact of your experience. Please let me know if you would like to discuss further or if I can help in anyway.
Sincerely, Maria