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I realized that when I asked how we can make caregivers life easier, I may have been unclear. I was asking about what we talk about & questions. I also feel that there are conversations & questions that caretakers don’t realize how it makes it harder for us.
Neither position is easy at all. Also what you read helps one person may harm another. The best thing is to ask what you can do or say with one another & be prepared for an honest answer
@A MyParkinsonsTeam Member, I have been on both sides of this question, or at least I worked closely with my great grandmother for days and at times for weeks. I understand how different that is from being a caretaker of someone with Parkinson's. Neither am I inexperienced as I spoon-fed my great grandfather, helped to make his meals, and often entertained him. I don't know how cognizant Grandpa Harry was of all that Grandma Amy did for him. Whenever Whenever he wanted anything that he couldn't do himself, he would call her name. If I was there, and she was busy, I would ask him if I could get something for him. I was glad to accommodate if I was able, or I would convey the message to Grandma if I couldn't help.
My close proximity to both situations, allows me to compare the vast differences between Grandma Amy and @A MyParkinsonsTeam Member.
They were born in different centuries. Grandma Amy was born in 1895; Bart in 1954.
Grandma Amy was the oldest daughter in the family so when her mom died, my grandmother only 16, it was expected of her to assume the household duties as "the lady of the house." She took care of her 4 younger siblings, cooked and cleaned for the household until she married and cared for her own home. She worked as a nurse, caring for wounded soldiers that came home from both World Wars. Grandma Amy also cared for her father when he could no longer live alone. Grandma, therefore was an experienced caregiver by the time Grandpa was diagnosed with Parkinson's.
Bart had no such preparation, and I am in no position to teach him. I do appreciate that he reads everything he comes across about Parkinson's and doesn't mind when I share useful information with him. He has pulled back on any church activities in which I can no longer participate. He tells people that I am now his ministry, which is bitter-sweet to hear. I hope that when I can no longer attend church, nor be left alone long enough for him to attend, that some of the ladies at Little Band would offer to sit with me once in a while, so he can attend at least once a month.
I don't know if this was the response you were looking for, but it's all I have for now.
What a thoughtful and important point. The relationship between someone living with Parkinson's and their caregiver is deeply personal, and communication really is at the heart of making it work for both people.
You're absolutely right that what helps one person may not help another. There's no universal script for these Show Full Answer
You shared your heart- thank you
Mine were from Holland ❤️
Mine were Irish also. Came to new York and pa couldn't get a job so he came to Alabama , settled and had 7 kids.
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